Of Forgiving And Forgetting
As a person, I am very stiff.
I have a few principles and I always stick to them. What's right is right and what's wrong will always be wrong in my head.
So, when someone tries to get on my nerves or even worse tries to do wrong of any kid with me, I make a pledge of not letting them into my life ever. This life is too big to be around people constantly criticizing you and trying everything to bring you down. And these kind of 'pseudo friends' are something I could never handle.
Ofcourse, with this nature of mine, I have had quite a few enemies. The problem being I can't forget -forgiving is a whole different story. I don't really hate anyone, hate is a pretty strong word in my dictionary. I just wished they weren't anywhere near my world.
But off late, these feuds and cold wars don't interest me. I have also realized I don't have time for all this anymore. I might have been a bitch in school trying to pick up fights with almost everyone who tried to tick me off. But neither am I in school anymore nor am I the same girl.
So what did I do when I realized that ? I apologized to all the people I had hurt intentionally or unintentionally (Well, almost everyone. Some just don't deserve it, you know ? )
For people who know me, they know how difficult it is for me to utter the word 'sorry'. I had rather be found dead than apologize.
But if saying a sorry means I value relationships more than my ego, then I'd rather be sorry :)
Hope you have a good day
Ritika
I have a few principles and I always stick to them. What's right is right and what's wrong will always be wrong in my head.
So, when someone tries to get on my nerves or even worse tries to do wrong of any kid with me, I make a pledge of not letting them into my life ever. This life is too big to be around people constantly criticizing you and trying everything to bring you down. And these kind of 'pseudo friends' are something I could never handle.
Ofcourse, with this nature of mine, I have had quite a few enemies. The problem being I can't forget -forgiving is a whole different story. I don't really hate anyone, hate is a pretty strong word in my dictionary. I just wished they weren't anywhere near my world.
But off late, these feuds and cold wars don't interest me. I have also realized I don't have time for all this anymore. I might have been a bitch in school trying to pick up fights with almost everyone who tried to tick me off. But neither am I in school anymore nor am I the same girl.
So what did I do when I realized that ? I apologized to all the people I had hurt intentionally or unintentionally (Well, almost everyone. Some just don't deserve it, you know ? )
For people who know me, they know how difficult it is for me to utter the word 'sorry'. I had rather be found dead than apologize.
But if saying a sorry means I value relationships more than my ego, then I'd rather be sorry :)
Hope you have a good day
Ritika
Posts
10 comments
forgiving is easy.. what really matters is whether we forget and forgive, or we just forgive and simply pretend to have forgotten whatever has happened. most people pretend.. sometimes its better not to apologize even if we did intentional or unintentional.
ReplyDeleteOuchhh...Ritika is angry!!
ReplyDeleteC'mon, that's life my little friend...I know it's not easy, but 5 forgive to teach others a lesson--that's the funda I follow and am in peace! Take care,
ps-- i superlike straightforward people like you♥
To err is human and to forgive is divine ! Happy soul searching ritika
ReplyDeleteI loved the way you summed up the post. I don't know if you realize what you just said but I think it is the most wonderful gesture on your part - to apologize?
ReplyDeleteI mean, here I am , have no clue what transpired but all I know is you retrospect and you find your own peace. Well, atleast on your way..
I wish you have a very blessed life full of happiness and fun! :)
I totally understand what you are saying .. I am same and good or bad I dont know.. BUt yeah I can forgive (maybe) but I will never forget and Why should I . and I expect the same .. You may forgive me but I would not expect you to forget it ..
ReplyDeleteBikram's
this reply isnt gonna win me any awards, I know - but let me just say this - dont forgive someone who has hurt you intentionally. I'm frankly a patsy in life- I let people walk all over me because I avoid confrontation. It has led to some horrible moments where I have been betrayed in ways more filmy than real.
ReplyDeleteSome day in the near future, there will be a post on this in my blog and this comment may make 'slightly more sense', but till then, consider this as advice from a weathered soul - if somebody has harmed u intentionally - dont forgive. Ur letting urself in for worse betrayals.
just wanted to add here : after reading your post, have blogged about the folly of forgiving people who hurt u intentionally - http://www.godyears.net/2012/09/doctor-now-might-be-good-time-for-you.html
DeleteRitika, if its gone its gone. That's it. And I have been like that. I can't forget things and although I might forgive at the moment, I don't feel ashamed to say that it keeeps coming back to me, and affects my relationship with that person.. even after forgiving. So, forgiving without forgetting is not really 100% forgiving, is it?
ReplyDeleteThe equations change forever.
Thats how it shud be, Once betrayed, things can never be the same.
But yes, if the person apologizing repents truly, and is really sorry, is the only time I truly forgive.
Agree with each and every word of urs...
ReplyDeletethat's good that you think of solving issues with people!!! but we need to differentiate between those who really deserve that good behaviour of our's and those who really don't !!!
ReplyDelete