The Excessive Judging Syndrome
We all have a tendency to judge people at the very first glance. From bright sparkly shoes to an over larged hat,the moment we notice something not-so-natural about a person,we start judging them.
But every person has a different definition of normal. What may be normal for you might not be so normal for someone else.
Just two days back,I bought a pair of red denims I had been dying to get since ages. And yesterday I decided to paint the town red. But little did I know, strangers care too much about you.
If I had started counting the number of eyes that rolled at me, the amount of stars in this universe would go less. There was even a guy who yelled 'Superman' (Okay,that was really funny ! Good sense of humour superman guy. You are officially forgiven. )
But what I really don't understand is why people care so much about strangers. And who gives them the right to judge. This especially goes to those 'Aunties' who were convinced if they stared me long enough I would go back and change. Dear respectable 'Aunties' ,I don't want to marry your son and hence I don't care of what you think of me.
And its not just the red pants. I remember in the first year of my college there was a teacher who clearly stated - 'You are dumb because you care too much about your looks' .
Dear brainless teacher,
Just because I dont put gallons of oil before coming to college and I like to dress well,does not mean I am dumb. I got a 90% in 12th boards. I don't think caring less about my clothes would have made me score more.
Though I have really less hopes about people around me being less judge-y,but I really hope the next time I wear my metallic pants,I dont get so many stares :D
But every person has a different definition of normal. What may be normal for you might not be so normal for someone else.
Just two days back,I bought a pair of red denims I had been dying to get since ages. And yesterday I decided to paint the town red. But little did I know, strangers care too much about you.
If I had started counting the number of eyes that rolled at me, the amount of stars in this universe would go less. There was even a guy who yelled 'Superman' (Okay,that was really funny ! Good sense of humour superman guy. You are officially forgiven. )
But what I really don't understand is why people care so much about strangers. And who gives them the right to judge. This especially goes to those 'Aunties' who were convinced if they stared me long enough I would go back and change. Dear respectable 'Aunties' ,I don't want to marry your son and hence I don't care of what you think of me.
And its not just the red pants. I remember in the first year of my college there was a teacher who clearly stated - 'You are dumb because you care too much about your looks' .
Dear brainless teacher,
Just because I dont put gallons of oil before coming to college and I like to dress well,does not mean I am dumb. I got a 90% in 12th boards. I don't think caring less about my clothes would have made me score more.
Though I have really less hopes about people around me being less judge-y,but I really hope the next time I wear my metallic pants,I dont get so many stares :D
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24 comments
nice and interesting post.. not that i am against what you are trying to say through this post but i want you answer one question of mine.."if you see someone (stranger!!!) with something being unusual aboutt him\her in public don't you also give a stare???"..i think this is a normal human tendency, it's like a habit though bad but still a habit.
ReplyDeleteI would still be okay if they just stare and let it go. But the continous staring is what creeps the hell out of me.
DeleteYou dont like something I do,look once and forget about it.
I reallyy really wish people would let go for this 'habit'.
This brings a folktale to mind :-).
ReplyDeleteDo read this: http://eng.1september.ru/article.php?ID=200801809
Going to read it now,the title does seem intriguing :)
Deletethe fact is, people stare and glare at someone only when they feel insecure because they know that the person is actually looking good in the outfit. so, it's only out of jealousy because they will never have the courage to be inventive with their appearance.
ReplyDeleteThat means I was actually looking good :D :D
DeleteThanks a lot Debajyoti,that made my day
We are stuck in the early nineties, grow up...And judging is something we should never do...
ReplyDeleteSo true Saru,and I have know idea when they will grow up :/
DeleteHAHHA. Loved the post. Even I get stared though Im a guy because of tshirts with onliners and stuffs. Its cool when its a girl , awkward if its anyone else.
ReplyDeleteOh yes,the one liner tshirts get stared a lot ! But I think its probably because people are trying to read it :P :P
DeleteGood... Red denims is a shocker for many girl. So many among them were the admirers I am sure but I can't say about the Aunties. They must really be hoping you go and change :)
ReplyDeleteHaha
DeleteI think I should stare the aunties too for wearing truck loads of gold to a mall :P
Let them stare...you mind your way girl...if a differently cut and styled salwar-kameez draws huge stares, then red denims will definitely make heads turn. You need to forget about the crowd and enjoy yourself :)
ReplyDeleteYeah,I think I just have to make peace with it and let it go
DeleteNormal, like most things, is a subjective standard. The whole notion of a thing being normal or not is based on conformity to a certain benchmark thought process which the majority comes to identify as being the usual order of things. Normal, hence, is not one standard benchmark that everybody can, or should, follow. For each person, it is something that depends on his/her perception, on experience, on habit, and on more than anything else, desire and the ability to reason and being true to oneself.
ReplyDeleteYeah,you are so right Sahil.
DeleteI wish everyone else could realise that. *sigh*
a classic case of don't have the guts and gumption to carry off such a thing and hence will judge - let them not deter you from being Y.O.U
ReplyDeleteu go gal :)
Ah,thanks a lotttt Priya :*
DeletePeople have too much time to interfere in other's life, unfortunately, Ritika!
ReplyDeleteThey do,dont they? :(
Deleteif ppl stare at u, dat too for a little longer than usual, actually implies that they simply cannot take their eye off from someone who they feel is really beautiful...so it can be taken as a compliment that u were indeed looking grt..:) and as far as judging is concerned thats sumthng hardwired in us humans...cant help...
ReplyDelete"people judge in matter of seconds ,while their creator actually waits for the full life cycle of a human to complete b4 judging what kind of human he/she was nad whether they deserve hell/heaven" :)
so nxt tym u were those metallic pants...and people stare at you, just smile nad feel good that u r looking pretty :)
Awww,that was really sweet Saikat :)
DeleteThanks
there was this funny article 'we stare because we care'
ReplyDeletebut I guess in cases of staring ignorance is a bliss... Also Saikat makes one really good point there
Yeah,ignorance is bliss..I'll have to remember it the next time :D
Delete