How to Not Pay Taxes

By Sunday, February 07, 2016

This is the question that I have been asking people these days. 

You know when you are in a permanent job and you pay taxes, you really don't mind it so much because you know how much you are getting in hand and that's what you work for. You never even calculate how much you are losing in taxes. (Atleast I didn't)

But now I am a freelancer and that means I have to file my own taxes and pay them. And I don't want to. I don't even understand all these tax terms, I just know I have to pay it. There is TDS, there is a service tax and then there are the stupid IT Returns. 

Why am I paying so many taxes and is everybody paying the same taxes as me? Also, who would find out if I didn't pay taxes? Does Arun Jaitley pay his taxes? 




I am writing this because I got to know a horrifying piece of information from a friend, who by the is going to become a Chartered Accountant in a few months but still declined to do a tax fraud with me and instead started suggesting me utterly stupid ideas like Mutual Funds and PPF.  According to him, and apparently Article 246 of the Indian Constitution, the more I earn, the more I have to pay taxes. Why? Who made that rule? 

Where are all the those human right activists that were screaming the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer?

After being depressed for about half an hour, I started Googling for countries that didn't have any incomes taxes. My results were surprising and astonishing. There are five countries in total - Bermuda, Bahamas, Andorra, Monaco and UAE.

(Side Note - Does anyone remember that song - "Bermuda Bahama, come on pretty mama". I would just got to Bermuda or Bahamas to sing that song. Also do you remember Chandler singing that song in "Friends")


Anyways, Bermuda also reminds me of Bermuda Triangle which is super scary so that's out of the question. Bahamas sound great, but I get tanned pretty easily. Coming to Andorra, I have honestly never heard of it. Now, Monaco sounded like a place to be. I mean no taxes, super casinos, gorgeous Monte Carlo but then I read about the 'premier land prices' there. I mean seriously, you could buy 2 malls with the same price as a 1 BHK flat in Monaco.

And then there is UAE. If you are woman and you move to UAE, you are basically leaving all your freedom and rights behind. Do you know all woman need to have a male guardian with them at all times in UAE? 

Am I really just paying the Government of India to be able to travel alone on pothole filled roads? I guess we'll never know.


PS  - If you have any Tax fraud ideas, please contact me ASAP 


PPS - If you are an Income Tax Officer and you are reading this then please know that I have full intentions of paying my taxes. *Cross my heart and hope to die*

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6 comments

  1. hahaha... no, I really wish I knew how to avoid taxes. I fall in that middle class category where you make just enough to hang on at the end of the month and then watch them bracket you into the tax payers list and steal a sizeable (and i do mean sizeable) chunk of what you have saved at the end of the years.

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    1. That's so true Roshan! And do doctors get no concession in taxes ? :/

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  2. I wish i could , I fall in the higher band and 40% goes Every MONTH... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh now i am depressed

    Bikram's

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    1. There is also a 40% slab? I thought 30% was the highest

      Now I am a depressed :(

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  3. Currently enjoying a completely care-free state of not paying taxes at all. No job, no headache! :P
    But as a commerce student, I must say, that CA friends' advice makes sense. It really does! :D

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    1. Hahahaha, thanks a lot Mithila :)

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